Ex’cla-ma’tion by Coty

This was the 80s baby mall fragrance. It’s the first time your mom dropped you off and allowed you to roam for three hours in this sacred place and definitely not in the parking lot even though that’s where you’re going to end up smoking your first Virginia Slim later. You need something to cover up that smell safely in time for a discreet pickup, and also something to wear to the school dance because you’re finally getting your braces off and feeling lustful.

You’re inbetween a trip to Contempo Casuals and Esprit and something catches your eye at JCPenney. All your life you’ve been in a cloud of powerful oriental/powder fragrances wafting off your aunt’s shoulder pads and here is a breath of youthful air. It’s none other than Ex’cla-ma’tion! This is your transformative Ally Sheedy moment. You buy the bottle immediately as well as an Orange Julius/Hot Dog on a Stick combo and feel a new side of your sexuality from the hot dog and the perfume.

Notes include apricot, peach, bergamot, and green notes with jasmine, lily-of-the-valley, heliotrope, and orris root blend. In real life you’re going to smell like a scented maxi pad pre-use before we realized how bad these were for us. Oopsies, shame works wonders.