Warm Vanilla Sugar by Bath and Body Works

This smells like you melted down Bonnie Bell Lip Smacker in Oatmeal Cookie and Vanilla, mixed that concoction with alcohol, then did a line of Nesquik. I’m not going to front, I was the binch who had the gift set of this with the body lotion AND shower gel. I was twelve and still tender from my years of getting the extended sizes at Limited Too wishing for the ability to transform into the Olsen twins circa Passport to Paris. I never did transform, but my crippling insecurity was soothed by smelling like rice pudding to face the first day of 8th grade. I distinctly remember covering all the new smells radiating from my puberty pumping body. I blocked my glands with this saccharin cloud and prayed my pad wasn’t showing through my too tight low slung capris.

Notes include vanilla mixed with florals, rice, musk, and heliotrope among other things. In real life you’re going to smell like the flesh of a Bratz doll.