Polo Sport by Ralph Lauren

Your 90s nitrous oxide-huffing boyfriend definitely sauntered down the halls of high school in this scent. Much like a first flaming button-down JNCO shirt, Polo Sport by Ralph Lauren was a right of passage for all frosted tip heads worldwide. One of those dip shits, ie. your first bf, is coming to pick you up in his grandmother’s Buick Riviera for a night of passionate parking lot lovemaking. Before he leaves, he tucks his hologram eye pendant close to his chest for good luck, then douses himself in this notorious juice. When he drives up towards you and rolls the window down a cologne cloud envelops you. You’re temporarily stunned until he offers you a Slim Jim and a Whip-It! Call your OBGYN, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride.

Notes include mint, aldehydes, lavender, bergamot, mandarin orange, lemon, artemisia and neroli; middle notes are seagrass, ginger, jasmine, geranium, cyclamen, rose and Brazilian rosewood; base notes are musk, sandalwood, cedar, guaiac wood and amber. In real life you will smell like a Gold’s Gym.