Basenote Bitch
Sun-Ripened Raspberry Bath and Body Works

Sun-Ripened Raspberry Bath and Body Works

This is one of the aromatic idols Bath and Body Works pumped out starting circa 1996. The girl who wears this is a nubile wobbling baby deer in her new Steve Madden Slinky slides. She’s on her way to her first dance recital with approximately 800 bobby pins and glitter spray in a very tightly wound bun. Said bun is likely stopping valuable blood to the brain.

This is her moment to 5-6-7-8, Boom, Boom, Turn to Britney Spears’ “Baby One More Time,” with fifteen other tweens going through various stages of puberty. Much like Britney’s own—the choreography at her dance company has become increasingly sexualized, but still in front of homemade glitter backdrops provided by a horde of dance moms. Backstage she kisses her beloved Pocket Critter keychain for good luck and anoints herself (along with every other person) with Sun-Ripened Raspberry from Bath and Body Works.

The purple juice covers the sweat and fear that she won’t be able to gyrate her hips as convincingly as she could in front of her mirror at home. The lights come on and she remembers she said a prayer to her dog-eared copy of the iconic 1999 Britney Spears Rolling Stone issue. She repeats the mantra “I am sexy, but still sweet.” The performance starts.

Notes include sparkling red apple, garden strawberry, sun-ripened raspberry, juicy orange, sheer muguet, white jasmine, pink rose petals, sugar crystals, and creamy vanilla. In real life you will smell like the Teletubby nestled in Brit’s armpit on said cover. That or the essence of a hyper-pink David LaChapelle photoshoot from the 90s.