Polo Sport by Ralph Lauren

You’re in your closet desperately throwing outfit choices around for the first day of high school. This is the moment and accessories that will define who you are for freshman year. Or, like, FOREVER—who can really say? You know at the end of this road you don’t want just generic yearbook signatures. You will literally die if you get more than three “Have A Nice Summer” notes. You want meaningful exchanges, you want to be remembered with thoughtful essays to the tune of Felicity’s borderline scary yearbook admission on Ben’s yearbook. You refuse to be some faceless lump of teen flesh in the crowd.

To get in the zone you put on Now That's What I Call Music! Vol. 3, and “All Star” by Smash Mouth is the first banger. You decide you’re not ready to wear a spaghetti strap tank top so you opt for something sporty but trendy. You’re not below a zeitgeist and Paul Frank is a statement that will hopefully be a conversation starter above your training bra. You pair it with your favorite watery clean fragrance Polo Sport Women. You saved up all your babysitting money for two months to afford this bottle and you know it will be a head turner at the lockers. With two quick spritzes you’ve become someone people could remember, maybe even someone that could lose their virginity before college a la American Pie.

Notes include melon, lemon, spicy mint, water mint, eucalyptus, orange blossom and aldehydes; middle notes are freesia, ginger, cyclamen, lily, ylang-ylang, musk, poppy, violet, rose and nutmeg; base notes are cedar, sandalwood, oak, ebony wood, amber and patchouli. In real life you will smell like Melissa Joan Hart in Drive Me Crazy.