Heaven by GAP

The launch of this fragrance was in 1994, the year of a spaghetti strap tank top under an oversized flannel. You’re in the Gap and you’ve got to decide between Grass, Dream, and Heaven—don’t even get me started on OM. You budgeted your babysitting money for this moment only. You choose Heaven because it’s the safest white floral/laundry scent for your date tonight when you quite literally watch Janeane Garofalo play Vickie, the coolest Gap employee around in Reality Bites. You hope to be a deadpan manager climbing the retail ladder by the time you’re 18.

You want your first tit touch to be with Jonathan Taylor Thomas (i.e. JTT,) but you settle for whatever yo-yo said he liked you first. On further reflection you realize all your boyfriends have only one thing in common—they mentioned they liked you and no further qualifications were needed. You’ll get past this later. For now you spray your entire body and the inside of your first wire bra with this shit and hope it makes you get lucky. Little do you know being remotely willing will make you get lucky. You flip to where you wrote that dweeb’s number in your notebook with a milky gel pen and you call him up while stuffing said bra.

Gap Heaven’s notes include lemon, green leaves, freesia, jasmine, lily-of-the-valley, sandalwood, musk and moss. In real life you will smell like well-orchestrated innocence even though you throb for the Lawrence brothers.