White Musk by The Body Shop

This is the scent you think you’re going to lose your virginity on the beach with while listening to Kiss Me, by Sixpence None the Richer. It’s the classic, subtle “clean” fragrance that’s also kind of sensual and pairs well with oozing teen sexuality. Many think Jovan’s White Musk came before, but this stinker originally launched in 1981 and was the first cruelty-free musk. People ATE it up. Think about rubbing your entire body in dryer sheets then baking in the sun. Like if the Snuggle Bear of Snuggle detergent had sex with a skanky little weasel. This is your soapy hole perfume.

Notes include ylang-ylang, galbanum and basil, followed by the heart of jasmine, rose, musk and lily. In real life you’ll smell like when you haven’t washed your bra in two weeks and have been using the same suave vanilla body wash. Or when your grandmother takes the plastic sofa slipcover off for the first time in 40 years. I find it massively comforting.