Sweet Pea by Bath and Body Works

You are flipping through a Delia’s catalogue and wondering what those bitches are wearing—what is their essence and how can you get it without spending 28 dollars on a butterfly clip? Bath and Body Works Sweet Pea Body Mist is your salvation, Sweet Pea is your cure. It’s in the Victoria’s Secret Love Spell camp, but it’s not quite* as overpowering. Memories of Aunt Annie’s pretzels, piercing pagodas, and spying on the forbidden but hot emo cashier at Hot Topic flood into your head. Spritz this in the air 50 times and play light as a feather, stiff as a board and try not to faint.

Actual notes are sweet pea blossom with watery pear aromas, rhubarb, violet, plum, red apple and bergamot. IRL you’ll smell like a sickly sweet combo of synthetic apple and a vague flower—this is like the feminine version of that rank Hollister perfume they misted out of the vents of the store so everyone smelled like teen sex on the beach.