Sensual Amber by Bath and Body Works

Whenever “sensual” is put into a fragrance name I can’t help but feel like I’m being set up for failure. Will the juice in question really deliver me to the realm of dramatic horse rides on the beach at sunset, or will I be left in my room riding a Furby with no tangible results? That being said, as a tween desperately trying to figure out how to be sensual, sometimes it was nice to have it all spelled out with body mist at my local Bath and Body Works. This is where Sensual Amber comes in for a particular girl.

This girl of the early aughts just discovered a fierce newfound horiness for Elf Legolas. Whenever they raise their longbow and their silver hair blows in the wind, she suddenly has an unfamiliar feeling. The need to buy Orlando Bloom merchandise is great and every day she counts down on her 2005 calendar until the premier of Elizabethtown. She tries to distract herself from the wait by working on vision boards of Lindsay Lohan, but nothing can curb the hunger. Even her Furby shuts down after hours of telling it LOTR fanfiction. When the day finally arrives for the premiere, she snatches her sensual body splash and prays to whatever powers that be it will help her rise to the top of the piles of fans at the meet and greet. Orlando will see her, pluck her from the crowd, and take her on a horseback ride out of small town Franklin to quietly make out under the stars.

Top notes include forest fruits, plum and bergamot; middle notes are orange blossom, iris, white rose and lotus; base notes are amber, vanilla, praline, sandalwood, musk and patchouli. In real life you will smell like every other tween having a sexual awakening.