Ralph Hot by Ralph Lauren

This is for the girl that ordered a Conair Quick Wrap off her private mini TV in between Nick At Nite programs. She is definitely developing a crush on early Drake, AKA Jimmy Brooks on Degrassi: The Next Generation. This tween infatuation has led to several questionable hair accessories, but the Wrap is her primary tool for wooing the cast at the next Degrassi mall tour coming to her city. She will get her picture and possibly some digits to put in her Razr if it kills her, so the outfit and vibe needs to be 100% intense like Manny’s thong reveal in Season 3.

On the day of the meetup she rises at dawn and feeds her virginal face framing bangs into the Quick Wrap and doesn’t look back. Beads fly everywhere, banana clips pop off, and the final product is a bird’s nest held together with string atop her head. It’s the noughties so the hair must also be paired with a pastel cami so tight you can see the indent of her belly button. Perfect!

The last step is adding a signature scent for this monumental day. She thought about a body mist, but ultimately landed on Ralph Hot by Ralph Lauren. She sprays the juice on her pushup bra and says a little prayer to her closet shrine before heading out the door to the carpool. When she finally gets to the mall the sillage from the perfume has already created a spell around Aubrey Graham who signs not just her journal, BUT the inside of her wrist. She contemplates saving it for a tattoo but accidentally spills Orange Julius all over herself later that day.

Notes include lemon, almond blossom, geranium, jasmine and orchid with base notes leaving an impression of musk, vanilla and sandalwood. In real life you smell like a Canadian teen soap opera, i.e., wholesome but heated.