Casual by Paul Sebastian
The year is 2001 and you’re bopping in your room to Leslie Carter’s “Like Wow!” as you snack on WOW chips. With every move you’re this close to shitting your low rise jeans from the Olestra, but these chips are freakin’ fat free, and you have to look hot for your first coed sleepover. You’ve buffed, waxed, and laid bare your soul to advice columns in preparation. As the abdominal cramps seep in from all the low fat fun, you look around and realize your life is a sea of Curlz MT font. Letters whimsically dance around you as they market beauty products and self esteem enhancers. All of the sudden you feel condescended to by this girly typeface.
The feeling lingers until you reach for your Casual perfume to snap back to reality with a soapy floral spritz. It completes your outfit for the evening ahead, while also covering the seriously dank WOW farts that have ensued. Your room now smells like ylang-ylang with a touch of Nacho Cheese filtered through your fanny.
Full list of notes are lily-of-the-valley, jasmine, rose and citruses, cyclamen, heliotrope, tuberose and tonka bean. In real life you will smell like fabricated, reduced-calorie fun. Cute on the surface, but bubbling with resentment and flatulence underneath.