Blazin’ Blueberry Cosmic Cool

The Art Stuff section of Bath and Body Works in the late 90s was the closest thing to an IRL Willy Wonka beauty destination most kids ever dreamed of. It was a place to buy and fulfill the endless glitter quota required of the decade. Smelling like a Sour Patch Kids orgy was the secondary goal after the glitter. The girl who purchases these products is nearly ready for her first appointment at Piercing Pagoda, but not quite there yet. In the interim she’s got daily Stick-on earrings that will suffice.

She decides to get the complete Blazin’ Blueberry in the hopes that smelling like a muffin will make her crush Bop-It. Plus she needs the lotion in the hopes of finally greasing her foot down enough to pry the toe ring off that she bought this past family vacation to the Jersey Shore. It has dolphins on it and they’re no longer her favorite animal. As she applies the lotion to her feet and the glitter to her hair she flips through some magazines on the bathroom floor. Like most tween girls she’s ahead of her time—she knows Justin Timberlake is a complete fucking loser and she CANNOT believe he smugly dished on Britney and his private sex life to shill copies of Justified. He, like literally, needs to be brought to justice. GROSS! Only the soothing combo of fruit flavor and Hard Candy nail polish can calm her down.

Notes seem to be non-existent, but rest assured this is a pretty linear scent. From the minute you spritz in real life you will smell like Violet Beauregarde huffed several hostess mini muffins.